atelierniSHASHA V2!

[Light warning: this post is filled with shasha's photos, ack!]

Tadaima! 

It’s been four or five years since I was consistently blogging, and honestly, between those sparse recent updates, there have been quite a few times when I wanted to just drop by and say hi. Sharing my thoughts with you makes me feel lighter somehow. After all, no one fully understands our passions more than the community we share them with, right? Sadly, I didn’t. In the last few posts, you would see me share travel-related doll photography. While I really enjoyed doing that, I also longed to share my thoughts on my ongoing projects (albeit few) at the time. However, personal life simply became a much louder part of my life recently. I did a lot of thinking, a lot of changing in my daily routine, reprioritizing, and figuring out my future as a doll lady in her mid-40s.

But, alas! atelierniSHASHA is my forever home!

Despite some life changes, one thing was for sure - I’ll always come home here. I know that this blog will always be there waiting for me.  And so I deliberately made my return much slower. It’s like I’m savoring every stride I take going back to this place that I know I will always feel peaceful in. Anticipating a warm welcome, I started re-reading my blog posts, the blogs I follow, and my Instagram feed, which, OMG!,  had grown so much more sophisticated than when I “left” years ago. So many amazing doll artists have emerged; the doll clothes have become so high-quality; the dioramas were mind-blowing, and some of our doll friends are still at it, consistently creating and sharing. I was so happy to realize this is a world that will always exist - a peaceful place I can come home to anytime. I finally started dreaming again.

 

What happened during the pause, though?

Well, it’s not like I stopped dreaming during that gap. In fact, the only thing I could do for this atelier part of my life at that time was dream about my creative projects. Household life became a little more demanding. My responsibilities changed and increased. And the creative business owner part became smaller and smaller. With very limited time, it was a major challenge to design and make things, let alone do business success planning, admin work, marketing and content creation, shop upkeep (digital and physical), and many other responsibilities. 

During this time, I stepped back to see the whole thing and happily accepted that this pause is a welcome part of a creative’s life. I took a leave from most of my creative ventures and made sure my being away was worth it. I travelled with my family more often and enjoyed using my creativity to plan itineraries and make these trips memorable for all of us. 

In between travels, I would reorganize my craft supplies so many times, and every time I touched my fabrics or checked on my dolls, I felt like crying and running to my sewing machine to just satisfyingly sew one doll garment. 

But perhaps these travels and temporary distance from my craft gave birth to this rare, clear-eyed version of me, who decided to start being more intentional when it comes to spending my precious time and energy. I realised that I shouldn’t be creating for the sole purpose of satisfying my egotistic need to create - I have to be more aware.

I found my renewed purpose for atelierniSHASHA

This time, somehow, I felt more confident, focused, excited, but with a little more sense of responsibility. I want my actions to not only be a reminder that life is beautiful, but also a vehicle to influence and make our lives better. During the silence, my view started getting clearer. I did have an idea of who I wanted to serve back then. The why was there all along, but the how was too vague. This time, though, I feel more confident that indeed, I can help. New ideas and ways to provide value to my community are starting to pop up in my mind like fireworks. 

In the past version of atelierniSHASHA, my typical activities involved designing, building things, photography, marketing, shop stuff, repeat. While these were all fun to do, I started feeling like there is somehow more to this creative lifestyle. I wanted to communicate more deeply with the people whom I have always wanted to share this part of my life with. I wanted to not only share my designs, but be that friend that my doll friends can comfortably hang out with and trust with their questions about doll clothes making. I wanted to be that source of peace and someone who guides my doll friends to realize their visions, and troubleshoot these problems together like it’s a fun high school project. I wanted to grow with you guys.

I wanted to relive those early atelierniSHASHA days with someone who is just starting to sew doll clothes. I wanted to practice efficient doll clothes sewing methods with the intermediate doll fashion maker. I wanted to develop wardrobes together with someone who has grown into a doll stylist. I wanted to grow from a doll clothes and pattern designer into someone whom everyone in this community, regardless of skill level, can fully trust. It took me a long time to muster up the courage to trust my skills, and now I can finally say that I will humbly do my best because this is the reason I keep coming back anyway.

Taking it nice and slow, though

While all these thoughts excited me, I am determined to take it slow. In the past, I had been in cycles of creative projects that have eventually grown overwhelming. During my pause, I understood that it’s okay to not constantly push yourself to the edge. It’s okay to be silent for a while, and come out strong and authentic when you’re ready. Coming back doesn’t mean I will be spending all my time on this, though. In fact, I didn’t have any additional free time than before, so I don’t want this to be a new source of stress. Instead, I simply want this to be a peaceful place where, altogether, we learn, create, and share. 

And for this new chapter, I am so excited to grow into a person who can do more with little time. I want to become that person who does not constantly stress about doing so much. I want to practise being a calm, self-assured creative, so confident that even with few resources, I can accomplish something valuable for the community. I am excited to build a calming and productive workspace in a corner of our home. I would love to get back to making dioramas and take photo stories again, but I won’t be too grandiose about them. I’m excited to see what my old doll friends have been up to and reconnect with them. I wanted to make outfits for the dolls that have waited in the boxes too long. I wanted to try simpler ways to enjoy my dolls. I am looking forward to doing these things, more calmly. It is exciting, partly because I somehow have some ideas lined up, but also because there’s this piece of me that doesn’t know exactly where this will lead us. I’m curious about my new perspective.

What lies ahead

Over the coming weeks, I will be sharing articles that will help out the newbie, answer some of the questions that stunt an intermediate sewist’s project flow, and talk in-depth about my designs so that we all will have success stories in these mini projects we have. All I feel right now is the determination to bring all I have to the table because I know this is where I will be happier.

If you have been here since the beginning, I thank you deeply for putting up with my unpredictability. I am beyond words just thinking about the years we have shared here!

And if you’re discovering atelierniSHASHA for the first time, welcome! You are arriving at the beginning of a new chapter. I hope you enjoy the journey ahead!

See you on the next blog post, dollings!

Sending the same old love from your little doll lady from the Philippine Islands,

shasha